Day 17

Am leaving on a jet plane......etc

Day 16

Ah well the end is nigh. Pootled from cheviot the long way round to akaroa and Banks peninsula. All very jolly but hot and sticky. Pan is tucked up at tudor lodge and I fly out at lunchtime tomorrow.

I've uploaded the latest photos in album. When I get back i'll edit the hell out them and put up full size album. As well as the little bits of video i shot.

Suppose i better find some nosh then. Am thinking steak.

Day 15

Overnighted in Hanmh Springs...tried steak on a brick. brick is hot and you cook your own...not sure i get it...i thought they had a stone grill and just gave me cooked food but apparently not.

asked the hire doods what happens if i leave country without paying fine. They say they get billed and they bill me on credit card so i have to pay i guess.

Head back to christchurch for last night in NZ tomorrow will have to find bank while am there to pay this bloody ticket.

Day 14

Stayed in Westport last night. Had a bit of a run to Karamea and had some food at "Last Resort". Is like the most NW bit in South Island...feck all there really.

This morning am head to pankaiki thne on to hanmer springs i think. Was going to do a stopover in Greymouth but a tornado hit it yesterday so i just drive through and inspect the damage.

There blow holes in punkaiki and so far i seen about 12 road signs telling me to watch out for penguins in the road...bizarre. If i see a penguin and theres nobody around I'm kidnapping it and bungeing the fecker to front of bike. Flightless bird will be grateful am sure!

Day 13

Have been singing theme tune fron CHiPs and "the heat is on" and "addicted to love" an interesting medly to be sure.

Thinking am keeping the Pan for now. I want a blue flashy light on it!!!!

Day 12....Fuck!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck....
Was what went through my mind when i had front brake failure while coming down steep descent form takaka. Nearly went over cliff but much stomping on back break slowed me a bit. Which i don't get as breaks are linked.

Anyway one of the break pads had fallen out and was hanging off the pin by the disk rotor. pootled into nearest garage. Phoned tour company who coming to pick up bike. Hope they not ask stupid questions otherwise may lose rag

Day 11

You gotta love how blonde chicks in cut off jeans get out big 4 wheel drives at gas stations. The way they step down makes already tight become supertight...is quite interesting the prejudices here. The look of disgust or look of ooo biker. I'm sure rape fantasy by doods in helmets must be rife in female psyche.

Anyway i had nice freshmade pastries with apricots and custard for breaky this morning. Stayed in Picton last night and heading up to collingwood/puponga.

Oh I uploaded another album of pics...including my shotover jet ones.

Day 10

Yesterday was a bit of a marathon. Have blisters on the blisters of my throttle hand. Stayed overnight in cheviot. Very nice sleep i had.

Headed up to Picton this morning was great super blue sky sunny day. Was hooning up coast thinking wow lots...but the road started heading inland again and the crosswinds came back. Is weird but this place has great bike roads but for the cross winds the gust suddenly and twist your front wheel. I overtook a lorry with vegetables (it was throwing cabbages at me....fucker never secured his load) and i could not get back into my own land tried to throttle my way out of it but just made it worse...hich is weird as usually more throttle fixes all problems. I was pooping me pants but gust went away and i got over sharpish.

Was so warm I sat at roadside cafe drinking bundeberg ginger beer with oakley mirrored shades occasionaly saying hello to other punters. Quite a cool way to waste time. I'm a bit ahead of schedule now. Tomorrow I head for most northerly point on south island and the pootle back around to christchurch overthe next few days.

Day 9

Weather so much better today. Still damp on roads but sun is out and the steam is coming off them. Countryside very lush and tropical like.

Not what plan is today....just keep moving. Will Stop a Hakitata or sommat and buy some jade stuff. That's if is not really pricey. Also assuming can get into shop in bike gear without breaking things.

Day 8

Left Queenstown....headed for Hasst and Fox Glacier over the crown ridge road. Crown ridge had mad switchbacks...was ace.

However it sarted to rain further west i went....was soaked to skin by time i Got to Haast had quick bowl of soup then carried on for another 130k till Fox Glacier at which point i surrender to hotel. Weirdly i saw 3 sports bikes going opposite direction. I can't begin to explain how wet and slippery it but lets just say hydroplaned right across road owing to wind gust. Was miserable. I knew the west be like this...all the kiwis say so but there was nothing for it. I have constructed a weird and wonderful coat hanger structure that holds up all my wet bike gear over a radiator.

I think it's going to be like this tomorrow in which case i just crack on regardless. fecking rain.

Day 7

About to do jet boat thing...found decent web cafe so i upload some picture this afternoon. I am getting well into the littlest hobo lifestyle now.

Had Breaky in Joe's Garage...I swear to god Halli Berry served me breakfast...in fact she make Kalli Berry look old. I go back for more breakfast tomorrow. mmmmmm

Day 6

Off to Glenorchy this morning. Milford sound road was ace yesterday...made some inroads on my chicken strips on rear tyre. Got my calusus back from grips. Speaking of grips i forget to mention i drove past honda shop and they fixed a couple of days back.

Milford sound itself...well is just a big twisty road really but forested so is like a rally stage...which is pretty much how a treaed it but there was some surface changes to gravel on corners which was nice. Had a couple of moments there!

I been eating steaks and things mostly. They cheap here. There was a place called settlers in Te Anua (spent last night here) which you go in grab a slab of meat and throw it at the chef and tell him how you want it. Brilliant it was! I need to find some breaky now i think.

Oh yeah...good thing about gaming. Circadian rythms are knackered permanently no jet lag.

Day 5

Hi dudes. Has been Cold this morning and rained heavily overnight.

You know your biking in forgeign land when:
* You have seen 4 varieties of roadkill and you can't indentify any of the critters species.
* People don't understand a word you say because of your accent but if you keep your helmet on everyone understands perfectly.
* Nobody nod on bikes but everyone waves...including non-bikers
*The words "Irn-Bru" get you nowhere

Bugs Splatter on visor the same way it's just payload that makes a difference.

Day 4 better

End of day3 i was getting hacked of with straight roads but then sun came out and i found the twisties and was hooning round these vineyards...was like i cruized into italy or sommat. Olive trees poplars , 12 ft hedges.

weather has turned cloudy this morning and i felt some spots of rain. I am taking the scenic route from dunedin to invercargill or riverton. Oh yeah dunedin is freeky i drove through corstorphine and princess st.....twighlight zone. trying to upload pictures but it is dialup. nuts.

Photos are up, Check out the link!